Sunday, November 7, 2010

Inertia, Dreams And Sweater Washing



Layoffs.

Apparently I didn't make the cut. I still have a job.

Sweet package deal too - I'd be able to survive for the better part of a year before having to secure new employment.

Yeah, I know. I shouldn’t talk like that in this economy. I'm just really, really fed up, and looking for another position outside the company would probably be a great idea, but I'm not quite ready to give up my length of service. I've got a few leads, so I'm waiting around to see what develops.

If I'd been given the boot, I had it all planned out:

First, I'd do nothing for the first two weeks. Not out of depression, but because I haven't actually done nothing for that length of time.

Complete inertia. I might not even leave bed. Just me, Dorito crumbs, every book I've been trying to finish, and Quincy re-runs.

FYI - Quincy is awesome. For anyone born after 1985, he's was the original CSI. Take note, and go rent it.

After two weeks of marinating, I'd scrape the funk off myself, and work on all the chores I've been neglecting around the house.

For instance, I'd finish the laundry.

I have sweaters that spent the better part of a decade in my hamper. Mostly due to the incredible difficulty involved in cleaning them. There's the Chilean wool monstrosity that requires hand washing in a bathtub, in order to take in it's entire bulk; the angora that pilled up with bunny-sized balls the first time I wore it; and the red Benetton that required washing in fairy dust and unicorn spit because the color ran so easily.

All washed and Downy fresh. It would be like going shopping! In the 1990's!

Then I'd clean the garage, the basement, and maybe repaint the bathrooms. Such mundane things, but right now it sounds simply exhilarating.

It would also mean that for the first time in 10 years, I'd really be able to enjoy the holidays with my family. Thanksgiving and Christmas with no stress - just cookie baking. Lots and lots of cookie baking.

Come January 1st, after all those cookies, I'd work on getting back to the gym. Maybe take up yoga.

I'd finally get to read all those technical manuals and get up to speed on my skills, before searching for a job.

Yeah, I know. You're thinking I'd never do that.

You're thinking I'd never leave the bed after those first two weeks, then you'd be reading about me being craned out of the house thru a window, because I'd become Jabba the Hutt.

Funny, but I don't think so. I've reached that age where if I won the lottery, I'd go back to school and study all the things I was interested in, but never had the time or money to do.

Study Japanese? Sure!

Obscure field of archeology? You bet.

Ancient literature? Definitely.

Sigh.

I can dream, can't I?


3 comments:

Cheryl Cayemberg said...

I must say the first line concerned me a bit! Love the post. Especially the "fairy dust and unicorn spit". You had me laughing out loud!

John said...

You know it's bad when you actually hope to get laid off. I hope things get better. By the way, I have some unicorn spit, but I'm all out of fairy dust...

Jen said...

Thanks guys! It's been a really difficult week, let me tell you!