Fist Of Deth

Photo credit to Dilbert

Another big weekend.

I have put in 40 hours at work since Friday evening.

I'm still tired, and have no tolerance for buttheads at work that don't listen to the resident expert, which is me.

On Sunday, I got a call to check if there were any problems in our application's logs. It seems another app support group who's software talks to mine, saw an intermittent error. Butthead insisted that the last time it happened, it was a code problem on my side.

Well, here's the thing. We haven't had a code change in weeks. Server was trucking along with no issues.

So I ask if he's traced the transmission to see if there's data missing. Because, dude, that's what your error means. Data. Missing.

Of course he didn't, because he ASS - U - ME D that it was us. Didn't look any further. It took an act of God, and lots of threats from me, to make him finally do it. And guess what? It was data missing on his side.

Two hours of my life I'll never get back.

Today, a different butthead asks for an approval for a code change. Emergency fix, you know. Has to be done tonight. If I'm putting my name on an approval for a change to code, I'm sure as hell going to make sure due diligence was done.

Turns out he never tested part of it. I won't go into the specifics, but it wasn't done as proper procedure, and he knew that. Told him to go back and test. He decided to try and push it through anyway, and went to someone else for approval, and got the smack down. Thankfully, this other person realized that butthead was pulling a sneaky.

Told butthead to load the new code for testing (in a test application). He made another analyst do it.

Lazy fu(k3r.

I don't normally have this problem with people. I don't know why, exactly, these two give me crap. Although I have a suspicion that it has something to do with them belonging to a culture that still buys and sells women, and treats them as property.

Officially Infected

I finally got hold of the new doctors office. They are accepting new patients – yay! But cannot book me an appointment for at least 6 weeks – crap!

It seems only existing patients can be seen immediately for an illness. Which is fair, I was just surprised at the wait time for new patients. In the meantime, they told me to go to the urgent care office at the local grocery store. I told them I equated that with going to the emergency room, so I opted to go to back my existing doctor.

I better get used to it though. A 6 week wait will be nothing compared to the wait times once we have national health care. Also, I won't be allowed to be snotty about which doctor I want to see, since I won't have a choice. I did the HMO thing for several years, and let me tell ya, it ain't fun.

Anyway, I saw the physician's assistant at my old doc's office. I am officially the owner of a nice, fat sinus infection and bronchitis. I started my round of antibiotics last night and I'm already feeling a little more human. Exhausted and sick to my stomach, but less congested.

In other news, at work we've been asked to put together our mid year objectives. Considering I don't know if I'll have a job by the end of the year, I'd say my #1 objective is to remain employed, really.

I Am Sick. Also, HersheyPark

Apparently the eye goo issues from 2 weeks ago has now become a full on head/chest cold. The problem here is that I generally don't go to the doctor unless I'm dying.

The last time I went to my family doctor for a “real” problem was 2 years ago. I let my cold go on for the better part of 3 months, and ended up with bronchitis. You'd think I'd learn. So now I'm trying to get an appointment with a new doctor – old doctor just never did it for me – and they're out to lunch.

I don't understand that. Every doctor's office I've ever dealt with has mandatory lunchtime at noon, and no one to cover except the answering service. The answering service doesn't want to talk to you unless you're having an emergency, in which case they'll tell you to call 911. What's the point then? So how difficult is it to stagger the lunches for coverage? Say one person takes lunch at noon, the other at 1pm. I mean, geez. I don't even take lunch half the time. Many working people can't even call the doctor unless it's at lunch.

Anyway.

During one of my less ill days last week, we went to Hershey Park. I haven't been there since I was 16 and it was pretty fun.

Of course, the biggest plus here is that they had numerous clean bathrooms. You know you're old when you count the quality of bathroom as your number one reason for having a good day.

A few things were disturbing though.

We got there around 10:30am just after the park opened. After a 2 hour drive, I needed to pee. Found the first bathroom and was thrilled it was clean. Mostly. It had obviously just been cleaned owing to the scent of bleach and disinfectant. And someone's morning constitutional, apparently. Dude, couldn't you have gone at home? It's was 10:30am already, for criminy's sake.

While we're on that subject, it's rather amazing to me that the ladies who use these public bathrooms are such pigs. I've mentioned this before
here.

I saw one woman throwing balled up wads of toilet paper under her stall into the next one. Is it that difficult to aim for the pot? I mean, it's practically a bullseye.

By the end of the day, I didn't expect the toilet's to be spotless, but this was ridiculous.

One stall had a big, steaming, heap of brown, about a foot in front of the toilet. How does this happen?!? Are here that many people out there with explosive diarrhea? Is it an epidemic I'm not aware of? Should we be in touch with the CDC?

I feel sorry for whoever had to clean this up. I hope they had a biohazard suit and disposable mop.

Stating The Obvious: Us Against Them Mentality Just Not Helpful

Apparently I'm a glutton for punishment, since I'm still reading the news and political blogs.

I linked from one blog to another and ran across this post, berating Keith Olbemann for reading the saucy emails from Governor Mark Sanford to his mistress, and taking such delight in them. Along with Olbermann's schadenfreude, the article also points out how he showed no concern for the wife and children in doing so.

I'd like to applaud the article, and say that maybe we're not so different after all, that American citizens of both political parties are tired of this crap. Then there was the snark that ruined it: “Attacking women and children is the vanguard of the Republicans”. This instantly turned what could've been a compassionate article showing what's wrong on both sides (left and right), into another swipe at the Republicans.

Personally, I don't care about politician's extra-marital affairs. I don't care if they're Democrats or Republicans. It's wrong, regardless of party affiliation. However, if they're able to do their job (I realize this is highly relative, given we're talking about politicians), I don't care what they do in their private lives.

That's not to say I condone it. It's wrong, and horrible for the other family members involved. The media is unethical in gloating the way Olbermann did (as many others have done before him), but let's face it, the person responsible for the family's pain and humiliation is the one who committed the deed.

Some point out that if they're willing to lie about an extra-marital affair, then what else are they lying about? What else indeed. We're talking about politicians here, and regardless of political affiliation, their default position is generally dishonest. Besides, how many people out there are going to tell the truth about an affair? Do you really expect them to?

As a side note: I love how it's assumed by the media that if you're conservative, you're also a Holy Roller. And don't they just love catching someone who has “conservative” values or “religious” values in the act of something sordid. So much spicier, if it's a hypocrite.

Fact is, human beings are going to screw up. Knowing this doesn't make it acceptable, and obviously being a hypocrite isn't good either, but there's nothing wrong with having these values to guide you, or to strive for. It's better than saying, “No point in having any morals or values since we're just going to booger it up anyway. Only human, you know!”

Anyway, getting back to the article above. The comments section, as usual, was venomous. All the usual toxic spittle about conservatives being hateful, sadistic, hypocritical, etc. It was a dogpile inciting every crazy out there. Which seems to be the case whether it's a liberal or conservative news outlet, blog, or pundit.

There's no unbiased media anymore. Maybe I'm being optimistic, but I want to believe there's more middle of the road Americans than the media portrays. We're just overshadowed by the screamers on each polarized side.

Surreal Life Imitates Art?

Oh no they di'aaaahhhnnnnt!

Oh yes. They did.

MSNBC.com reported this today:

PETA wishes Obama hadn't swatted that fly

I was just kidding yesterday, when I asked why there's no outcry from PETA over Obama's fly swatting.

I think I'm going to stop reading the news entirely, and become a hermit. The world is officially insane.

President Kills Fly, MSM Thinks It's News

CNN Headline:

Fly bugs Obama, so he coolly smacks it

Why is this news, and why is it on the front page of cnn.com, no less?

Where's the outcry from PETA about fly abuse, and why aren't they proposing humane ways to euthanize insects?

I think CNN could've spiced up the story. It would've been better if they reported he gave the smack down to some bad guys. Like maybe he was out getting a Slurpee, interrupted a holdup at the local 711, then used his mad karate skillz and laser-vision to apprehend the thieves.

It's not like the media's interested in ethical reporting anyway.

So what's the verdict here? Was it intended as a human interest story, a goofy "hey look how tuff he is on flies" story, or just more MSM sycophantic infatuation?

Itchy and Scratchy

Hey folks! I know, I've been neglecting you again.

So I'm preparing for a visit from Sis and her kids. The spare room is prepared, towels have been washed (can't have funky towels), the house is mostly clean. So in about 8 hours, KITTENWATCH 2009 begins, as Leonidas will be very excited to meet new people (he's always excited to meet new people) and will have some new feet to attack. But, he must be watched, as he is quite small and not the 200 pound jungle cat he seems to think he is.

Dude has certainly been a handful – he loves the fridge and the pantry – once you open either one, he's instantly there, ready to pounce on some coffee filters, cereal boxes or last night's leftovers. He's actually more of a furry projectile rather than a kitten.

Also, I've forgotten how much kittens make me itch. I woke up last Friday with some kind of blepharitis/eye goo issue from scratching my eyes too aggressively. I spent the weekend cleaning my eyeballs out 6 times a day and coating them with petroleum jelly to keep the itch down. And moisturize. By the way, I highly recommend Aquaphor. Thankfully, it subsided by Sunday and I was able to get through the day without clawing at my face.

Because of this, I undid all the great work of my current face cream. For about 3 months now, I've been using some new stuff my dermatologist gave me (I might write about it later), that promotes new collagen. My skin looked fantastic, especially under my eyes. Now I've got all my creases and bags back.

And! As a special treat! I woke up today with several red, itchy bumps on my cheek. I can't tell if they're mosquito bites, or just red, scary zits. You know, the kind that lurk just under your skin and never come to a head. You can still feel the lump under your skin a few months after they disappear from the surface. I'm falling apart, I tell you.

What Weekend?

I'm recovering from a non-weekend.

I cleaned house on Saturday, then had an install for work that evening. Since the only time you can make changes to an application is off hours, I didn't sleep much.

I knew I'd be working at 2am. I tried to catch a few hours before that, but for the first time in forever, I was wide awake. Probably nerves, since it was a high visibility change. So I stayed up til 2am, had a pot of coffee, and worked thru til 11am the next day.

You'd think I'd be ready to sleep, right? Nope.

Maybe it was too much coffee, or maybe I just expected that dreaded phone call from our command center telling me servers were in flames. Either way, I didn't get back to bed til 10pm last night.

It's Monday and I still feel like crap. You know you're getting old when it takes several days to recover from an all-nighter. In my twenties I could do that, no problem. Now, not so much.

Here Comes Trouble

We've Leo-proofed the house, but it's surprising how much trouble something so small can get into.

The little squirt's been investigating every single corner of the house. Bouncing. He doesn't toddle anymore, just runs full speed or bounces.

If there's the smallest crevice anywhere, he'll try to stick his head in it. 10 points if it's got wires.

He even managed to scoot under my desk sideboard, a space of about 3 inches high. There's now a fat Linux book jammed there now. I knew I'd find a good use for that old manual.

In other news....

Yesterday, I finally bought some veggies for the garden. Normally, I plant them in late April or early May, but we've had such late frost (I had to scrape my car windows just last week), and if it's not freezing, it's pouring down rain.

I planted 2 tomatoes, a jalapeno, chili pepper, basil and rosemary. And it dropped to freezing temps again last night. It's June 1st for criminy's sake!! We shouldn't have any temperatures below 50!

Still, the plants look okay this morning. Thankfully it's sunny, and the high should be around 72.

I'll have to wait for the end of August for those delicious, home grown tomato sandwiches!

This Is Spartaaaaaaah!

We have a new member of the family. He is named Leonidas, after the King of Sparta.

"Leo", for short.

He's 9 weeks old, and as feisty as a little lion:























We've wanted a kitten for a while now, but found it nearly impossible to find one with "no strings attached". Apparently in our area of Pennsylvania, the only place you can get a kitten is through a breeder or a rescue shelter. We ended up driving out of the area to a reputable, old-style pet shop.

The local chain pet stores only sold kittens from the rescue shelters. As I've mentioned in an earlier post, they require you to fill out an application, which asks for information that is, quite frankly, none of their business. For example:

Do you rent or own your home?
Name of landlord?
Name and phone number of a reference who does not live with you.
Do you allow (shelter name) to visit your home after adoption?
How many children and adults live in your home, and what are their ages?
Do you plan to declaw the cat (I know from someone who adopted one of these cats, they do not allow you to declaw anyway).
Please list all your current pets, and include age and sex of pet.
List all pets owned in the last 5 years.

There's more, but I think you get the idea. On top of that, the kittens come pre-named, and they reserve the right to remove the kitten from your household if they're not satisfied with their "inspection" of your house. As I said before, it feels like your "borrowing" their personal pet.

I realize there's a lot of arseholes out there that abandon cats, and this application process probably began as a means to weed out people who tend to do this. I really can sympathize with that. But in some cases, the list of requirements for kitten adoption is getting a bit weird.

As a side note, I read an interesting story about 2 weeks ago. An elderly couple was denied adopting a puppy.

Nabbed!

Caught in the act......

(Click for larger view)

Gorgeous

They're predicting a gorgeous Memorial Day weekend here in Northeast Pennsylvania.

85 degrees this afternoon! Refreshing, considering it was 31 on Monday, and I was forced to scrape the frost from the windshield of my car.

Found some baby chipmunks living under the shed steps:






Both were about the size of a golf ball. I was able to get pretty close before they took cover under the step.

This guy's been foraging around the yard for a few weeks now, and I'm sure is responsible for matting down my Snow-In-Summer. I'll allow it though - due to excessive cuteness:



Looks like my Double Mock Orange will finally bloom this summer. I started these from 6 inch shoots 3 years ago. Now I'm going to have to find a permanent home in the yard for them:



Of course, it's also tent caterpillar season as well. Bastards:



Time to put the potted Plumeria outside for some sun. Poor thing goes dormant every winter when we bring it inside, and loses all it's leaves. About a week ago, it sprouted this cauliflower-like growth on top. Google tells me it's called an "inflo", and means we'll have flowers soon!



Once outside, by July it should have a few robust leaves. For now, it looks more like an alien ovipositor, or a giant, green hoo-ha:



Have a great weekend everyone!

Ant Deo

Yesterday, my mailbox was filled with ants and ant-eggs. Nesting in my mail.

I heard the mail truck around noon, and I retrieved the mail about a half hour later. I opened the box to find several envelopes covered with swarming ants clutching their eggs in hysteria.

I've found all kinds of things in my mailbox, from bees to frighteningly large spiders. This was a first for ants.

It's also very strange that all of the ants were on top of the mail.

As I said, I went to get the mail about a half hour after the mailman delivered it. Somehow, in that short time frame, a nest of ants appeared. If they were there prior to the mailman showing up, the ants would, at least mostly, be UNDER the mail. I think.

After being completely icked out, I whipped out the Raid Ant Spray and coated the mailbox inside and out. And myself. The wind blew back the spray and I got hit as well. Has anyone else noticed that Raid smells perfumey? In an overpowering, gagging, kinda way?

Took a shower. I still couldn't get the Raid smell out of my head. It seemed to be everywhere. Then I realized it was my deodorant.

Lessons learned:

1) My mailman apparently delivers ants, along with the mail
2) Degree deodorant “shower clean” scent smells just like Raid Ant Spray.

Style Over Substance

Spent part of last night helping my daughter cut out pieces of foam board for a “book report mobile”. “Mobile”, as in what hangs over a baby's crib.

When I was in junior high school, a book report consisted of :

a) choosing a book, or having it assigned to you by the teacher
b) reading book
c) writing several pages about the book, by hand or by typewriter.

Book reports are no longer a composition, in the usual 1000-words-or-less style, but arts and crafts projects in the form of collages, hanging mobiles, and papier mache models.

I'm all for inspiring creativity and keeping the kids interested, but this really doesn't prepare them for the real world. What happens when our little darlings have to do college entry essays? I'm pretty sure they don't accept them in papier mache form.

Then again, we stopped preparing our kids for the future when we stopped having winners and losers. Everyone's a winner, right? Try telling that to their future employers when yearly performance reviews come around. Or better yet, when little Johnny is trying to compete with 50 other people for his first job.

Stupid News Part 3

Yay. ABC is resurrecting the 80's sci-fi TV show, “V” for the 2009-2010 season.

This, along with the original Battlestar Galactica are fond memories from my childhood. These are excellent examples of 80's TV cheese that my generation loved so much.

Can't wait to see if the new “V” will equal the travesty that the new Battlestar became.

And also -

Random observation: It's really icky the way the press is hovering over Farrah Fawcett like a bunch of vultures, waiting for her to kick the bucket. Just my opinion though.

Yodeling Cats

Take safety measures if you try this at home:

Stupid News Part 2

Marriage of Reality TV Couple Jon and Kate Gosselin on the Rocks

These people weren't even on my radar until they showed up in the news recently.

According to IMDB, this is a reality show on TLC, about a family raising 8 children. Twins and sextuplets. I think we can safely say this is a stressful household.

As a parent, the first thing that popped into my mind was, why subject your kids to that kind of exposure?

Honestly, why would you even put yourself in that position? For the money?

And if you ARE going to put yourself on display for all the world to see, why not behave yourself until your free ride is over?

Not sure I understand why this show is interesting, except to see if Jon and Kate make it through another day without losing their minds. I suppose that's the point of reality TV – to see how others react, given certain conditions. However, if TLC really wants a nerve-wracking reality soap opera, just wait til the sextuplets become teenagers.

Fossil

Whale Fossil Found in Kitchen Counter

I read this headline on National Geographic and thought, “Cool.....how do I get one?”.

I imagined someone doing a little kitchen DIY; the local Home Depot shows up to install a stone counter top, then: WOOHOO.....fossils! In my kitchen!

But the title is misleading. It was actually the factory cutting the kitchen counter tops that found the fossils in the stone, then called in some archaeologists.

Oh well. I'll have to settle for the shells and trilobites in my stone row.

Where's Spring?

Yes, I'm complaining about the weather again.

It was 32 degrees this morning. There was a frost advisory. Two weeks ago, it was one hundred degrees.

I can't take it anymore.

Stupid News

Tri-marriages. Heard about this on the news this morning. People who want to marry in threes.

Apparently, this isn't just a polygamy matter, where a man marries more than one woman, but three chuckleheads that want to marry each other as a unit.

Then there's talk of the “slippery slope”. Opponents ask where it will end. How about a “marital collective” of 4, 5 or 6? Or farm animals?

As funny as that sounds... think about it. I'm sure there's more than a few activists willing to marry a cow in order to gain “equal human rights” for it.

The New Star Trek Movie

**** WARNING ! ****

** 'Ere Be Spoilers ! **

Saw the new Trek movie yesterday. It was cool.

I thought Chris Pine would be too pretty to play Kirk, and he still kinda is, but he did an excellent job. I heard he didn't watch any of Shatner's performances beforehand (how that's possible, I honestly do not know, unless he's been living under a rock), yet managed to do a convincing Kirk.

The boy that played young Kirk kinda looks like Spaghetti Jimmy from the Visa card commercial, but apparently isn't.

It wasn't until I watched “The Menagerie” again, that I realized how much New Spock really does look like Old Spock. Quinto was perfect for the role. I do wish he'd get rid of the birth control eyeglasses though.

New Zealander Karl Urban is usually known for playing hulking, tough guys in Lord Of The Rings, Chronicles Of Riddick and Doom, and I couldn't imagine him as McCoy, but he really came through. He must've lost half his body weight for this part. He looked and sounded just like him though. “I'm a doctor, not a nuclear physicist!” He nailed it.

Effects were incredible. Of course.

It was cool to see the original Enterprise fly again.

The new time line quandry didn't bother me until the end of the movie when I realized they weren't returning things to the way they were – it was just left as an alternate reality for Trek.

When Nero captured Captain Pike and had him strapped to a slab, surrounded by water, I really thought they were going to make a Hollywood-ized “waterboarding” statement. Thankfully, they did not. It would've ruined the film and franchise entirely, and unnecessarily.

Also, why does Hollywood think every action film needs a love story? Every movie does not need this formula:

Special effects? Check.
Way too handsome actors? Check.
Lots of explosions? Check.
Dopey love story that does nothing to advance the plot? Check.

I am sad that Vulcan is gone. This really kinds screws with Trek canon. I would've preferred they stayed true to Star Trek history, and wrote a prequel around that. But, I can see both sides to this argument.

This movie is well worth seeing, and I am looking forward to more adventures with this “new” crew. I give it an A-

Serendipity Kitteh

Last month our cat died. It was bad. I'm not going to bore everyone with the details, blah blah blah. Besides, I'm saving that one for a different post.

I should at least mention this:

1) she was a “mutt”
2) she was an indoor cat
3) we bought her from a local mom 'n pop pet store for $10.

Best. Cat. Ever.

So we've been thinking of getting another cat, and toyed with the idea of a pure breed. After Googling around, we found that this could cost somewhere between $300-$1200 dollars, and often requires a contract of “things you will do, and are not allowed to do”. If the cost alone isn't a deterrent, the contract certainly is. I can sort of understand this if you're going to buy a show quality cat (snicker), or you're going to breed other show quality cats. But a pretty, pure breed pet? Nah.

Then some friends told me that adopting a regular “mutt” cat isn't too different. A few adopted from a chain pet store, only to find out the store itself doesn't sell the cats. They're just acting as the liaison between the crazy cat ladies and the customer.

It can be expensive too. I know someone who paid $100 for one of their “babies”. And then there's that contract again. Declawing is the biggest no-no. I've also heard: “you must spend at least ___ amount of time with pet”, and “no children under the age of ____ in the household”.

And the people selling the cat had the right to follow up with you and physically inspect the cat to make sure you're taking proper care of THEIR animal. If they find that you've broken the contract, they can take the cat back. No refund either.

Even weirder, sometimes the cats (and kittens) come PRE-NAMED, so if you were hoping for a Fluffy or Whiskers, it sucks to be you. Instead, you're getting a Winslow Forester Bartleby, or whatever other dopey name they came up with. In reality, you're just borrowing their pet.

So we put the word out to a few friends who sometimes have kittens, in the hopes of finding a free (or $10) kitten who needs a good home.

Then last night around 9pm – the first night with no rain and enough warmth that we could open the windows again – I heard a funny-sounding bird calling from the yard. It screeched for a solid half-hour before I decided to find out what it's problem was. So with flashlight in hand, I went trudging out the front door. The noise was coming from the hedge just below the open window, and now I wasn't totally convinced it was a bird.

Hubby came out, pulled back the shrubbery and found a baby kitteh. Eyes were still closed, ears were not up yet, but it was fuzzy – so about a week old.

No momma kitteh to be found though. After scanning the yard with the flashlight, there she was, about 50 feet away under a tree watching us as if to say, “Hey, look what I did!”.

This was one of several strays in our neighborhood; usually found skulking through our yard, eating baby bunnies and pooing in the daffodils.

Hubby and I looked at each other, thinking the same thing. We'd like another kitteh, and look! Here's a kitteh. Delivered right to our doorstep.

Serendipity kitteh?

There really wasn't anything we could do. The kitten needed mother's milk at this stage, and you shouldn't take them away from their mother til they're at least 4 weeks old. So we went back inside and waited for momma kitteh to come back.

And she did. We checked this morning and both were gone. I'm sure she found another place to hide her little one. Except now we want her to stick around so we can “adopt” baby kitteh.

We put a bowl of kibbles by the hedge in the hope she'll come back (I hate it when people feed strays – but I'm willing to make this one-time exception). However, it's quite possible I'll attract every other cat in the neighborhood, but I'll worry about that later.

Right now I have to shoo a large squirrel away from the bowl.

Oh God! Please... NO

For heaven's sake. TopShop has brought back one of the more heinous offenses from The Late Great 80's.

The Harem Pants:



I know we love to rehash and reinterpret fashion from bygone years, but please. Not the 80's.

Just say NO.

Daily Snort

Read this on MSNBC this morning:

Jobless claims at lowest level since January
New Labor Department data show decline of 34,000 in latest week

“The number of U.S. workers filing new claims for jobless aid unexpectedly fell by 34,000 last week, sinking to the lowest level since late January, new Labor Department data showed on Thursday.”

Wait, didn't Microsoft just lay off over 3000 people yesterday? What about all the other companies that are laying people off ? The article goes on to say DuPont plans to cut 2000 jobs.

WTF? Are we supposed to be excited about this?

So, YAY, unemployment is momentarily down this week. However more suckage is on the way, when everyone who was layed off this week, files their claims next week?




And then there's this little gem on Madonna:

Mercy’s father questions Madonna’s morals

I personally find this headline hilarious. No need to read any further, really.

See, there's this dude in Malawi (Africa), who's allegedly the father of a child Madonna is trying to adopt. The headline is supposed to be his reaction to Madonna's wacko out fit for The Met gala. Which isn't even one of her bigger calamities.

He's quoted as saying, “What morals can a woman of 50 have, who has no qualms in showing her delicate parts and displaying herself like that in front of her children?”. He does have a point though.

God forbid he sees ANYTHING Madonna did during the 80's and early 90's. His head might explode.

“Delicate parts”. He really doesn't know Madonna.

Schizophrenic Spring in Pennsylvania

It's been raining for a week solid now. Just prior to that, we had a 4 day heat wave where it reached 100 degrees. That's right. One. Hundred. 100 smelly, sweaty degrees. In April.

Since then, it's back down to 40 degrees in the mornings, and maybe 65 by mid-afternoon. And wet.

This is one of the many reasons I hate PA. There's never a gradual move into Summer, with cute, light jackets, and kicky new ¾ length tops. Spring is a schizophrenic season where one day you're wearing a down-filled parka, and the next it's shorts and a tank top. If you're lucky enough NOT to get SNOW in MAY, you're waterlogged with rain.

I've lived here all my life, and have never gotten used to it. Someday, I'll move to a state with stable weather.