Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Dear Mr. Prius, 

Thank you for tailgating me for almost nine miles, then flying past me - Obama-Biden bumper sticker glistening in the morning light. 

I was remiss, as I was only doing 75 miles per hour. Surely I should've known 85 was more appropriate. Your eco-friendly statement on wheels has shown me the error of my non-hybrid owning ways. I'm sure that 18 wheeler you lurched in front of has seen the error of his ways as well. Possibly that he missed an opportunity to demonstrate the sheer, hulking mass that is a tractor-trailer, bearing down on a motorized roller skate. 

I see now, how terribly important it is to drive an electric vehicle. There must be great satisfaction in being able to break the speed limit by 20 miles per hour, leaving all of us gas-guzzling arseholes in your wake. Besides, it's all about giving the impression of saving the environment, instead of actually slowing down, and possibly using less gas. Yeah? 


A Slow-Poke In The Left Lane 

Okay, so I'm a little persnickety today. Went to bed at 9:00pm last night and was awake just about every hour on the hour. I think tonight will be an even earlier night, once dinner and housework is done. 

Oh, and BONUS! I read the side-effects of the steroid used to reduce the swelling in my face. May cause crankiness! Touchiness! Foul mood swings! Yay! 

Let's take an ill woman, put her in some Jersey traffic, and add an extra dose of CRAZY! 

If it wasn't for the fact that my face looks like it needs to be deflated with a very large knitting needle, I wouldn't bother.

However, I am desperate.