Still Swollen

Geez, I didn't think it was possible, but my eyes are more swollen today. This stuff better start working soon, because I've only got two more days on it, then it's just the antibiotics. At least I don't feel crabby or hungry, like the side effects said I would. I feel a bit zingy in the afternoon though. Zingy = good.

Traffic was insane this morning. I just don't get why some days the highway is practically empty, then other days it's bumper to bumper. There's no pattern to it at all.

I think I'm getting used to the driving. The car helps. A LOT. If I tried to make this commute in the Jeep, not only would it have shaken apart in the first two weeks, but I was only getting about 12 miles per gallon. The Volvo has a setting where it constantly monitors my fuel consumption, gives me the mpg, average speed and how many more miles I can go on my tank of gas. It does other things too, but I'm still reading the owner's manual and haven't figured it all out. On average, I'm getting about 26 - 27 miles per gallon in a mid-size sedan. That's not too bad.

I should've thought to go with a certified pre-owned car before. It's like, half the price of a new one, looks just like the new one, and Volvo practically takes the engine apart, cleans it, puts it back together again and certifies it as fantabulous. Or something like that.

And the warranty is comprehensive. Which is good, because hubby said the engine looks like something the Ancients created on Stargate, and just getting to the battery would be a challenge.

Truth be told, I originally wanted a Smart Car. They're just too adorable! It's so small I could fit it right on the front steps of my house. Then I read they're not great for long commutes because the ride was a bit rough. Two hours a day from PA to NJ and back again, would probably be a hemorrhoid fiesta.

Hemorrhoid Fiesta.....heh. Great name for a rock band.

Thank you Mr. Barry.

I did happen to see one during my commute one morning. It looked ridiculously endangered next to all the tractor trailers. Like a gnat flying with turkey vultures. You might as well be running down the road naked.

Gah. Three cups of coffee, and I just can't wake up today. And my stinkin seedless grapes have seeds. Liars.

So glad tomorrow's Friday.

Prius

Dear Mr. Prius, 

Thank you for tailgating me for almost nine miles, then flying past me - Obama-Biden bumper sticker glistening in the morning light. 

I was remiss, as I was only doing 75 miles per hour. Surely I should've known 85 was more appropriate. Your eco-friendly statement on wheels has shown me the error of my non-hybrid owning ways. I'm sure that 18 wheeler you lurched in front of has seen the error of his ways as well. Possibly that he missed an opportunity to demonstrate the sheer, hulking mass that is a tractor-trailer, bearing down on a motorized roller skate. 

I see now, how terribly important it is to drive an electric vehicle. There must be great satisfaction in being able to break the speed limit by 20 miles per hour, leaving all of us gas-guzzling arseholes in your wake. Besides, it's all about giving the impression of saving the environment, instead of actually slowing down, and possibly using less gas. Yeah? 

Regards, 

A Slow-Poke In The Left Lane 

Okay, so I'm a little persnickety today. Went to bed at 9:00pm last night and was awake just about every hour on the hour. I think tonight will be an even earlier night, once dinner and housework is done. 

Oh, and BONUS! I read the side-effects of the steroid used to reduce the swelling in my face. May cause crankiness! Touchiness! Foul mood swings! Yay! 

Let's take an ill woman, put her in some Jersey traffic, and add an extra dose of CRAZY! 

If it wasn't for the fact that my face looks like it needs to be deflated with a very large knitting needle, I wouldn't bother.

However, I am desperate.

Overture

It was an Electric Light Orchestra morning.

Apparently ELO was floating around my Zune, and decided to show up during my morning commute. I'd forgotten how good they were.

Stopped for coffee at the cafeteria, the check out clerk was muttering to herself again. She reminds me of a certain older actress who regularly appeared on The Love Boat, back in the 70's. I don't recall her name, but I do remember she was always smacking her husband with a purse.

I checked my email, and had a message from someone working on an old project of mine. It was turned over to him over two months ago, and he's just looking at it now. His questions were along the lines of "can you do this entire analysis for me?". No dude. Your job now. I don't even have access to those systems anymore.

Anyway, I finally went back to the doctor yesterday. I couldn't take the constant pressure behind my eyes. Turns out our home thermometer isn't working properly, and I've got a nice, fat fever, along with a sinus infection. Again.

Doc gave me a "talking to" for waiting as long as I did, because now the infection has embedded itself behind my face. I told him that when I was younger these things usually resolved on their own, which is what I was hoping for. Which why I always wait. He reminded me that I'm no longer 25, and that at my age the immune system is a bit more battered. Thanks Doc. I feel ancient now.

So it's an extended round of antibiotics and a steroid to reduce the swelling in my face. Did I mention the swelling? For about a month now, I've looked like Jabba the Hut. I'm sure my new team is wondering why they hired someone terminally ill.

I really need to get to bed by 9:00pm. I've been getting up at 4:30am in order to have bathroom time before my teenager gets up at 5:00am, then staying up late so I can have some time with my family. That's the part that makes me sad. This commute puts me on a different schedule than everyone else – I'm sleeping when they're awake, and awake when they're sleeping.

So four hours per night isn't cutting it. But, maybe I can handle more late nights once I shake this infection. Right now though, four hours sleep sure isn't helping.

Contentious D

I have nasty allergies, and more often than not, the only thing that prevents me from contracting a hellacious sinus infection is a decongestant. I can buy Zyrtec and Zyrtec D without a prescription now, but if I want the D, I have to sign my life away because it contains pseudoephedrine.

This involves waiting in line at the pharmacy and giving the clerk my driver's license. They write down a number of things from my license and log them in a database somewhere, then I have to sign several documents. I'm not sure why I'm signing these documents, I assume it's something to do with swearing I'm not going to make meth.

However, I've managed to catch a nasty head/chest cold, and I'm taking Tylenol Cold and Robitussin Cough. Neither of these formulations contain pseudoephedrine. Yet, today when I stopped in Target to pick up more Tylenol cold medicine – which is NOT behind the counter, and does NOT require me to provide six forms of ID – the checkout clerk asked me for my driver's license:

“I need your driver's license, ma'am.” the clerk asked.

“Whaaa?” I was in a bit of a fugue from being ill.

“Your driver's license. You're purchasing cold medicine.” she said.

I stared at her for a moment and opened my mouth to argue. This cold medicine doesn't contain pseudoephedrine. Why are you busting my balls? But I handed it over anyway, and she swiped my license. I was simply too tired and sick to give good argument. Besides, I wouldn't have enjoyed it.

Afterwards, the more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became. Have you heard about the grandmother in Indiana that was arrested for purchasing Mucinex and Zyrtec within a week period?

Tylenol cold medicine contains phenylephine, which is just the craptastic replacement for real decongestant. To my knowledge, there is no restriction on purchasing this stuff. What does that mean then? Now that the cold medicine Nazi swiped me for Tylenol, am I on the record for having purchased decongestant this week, and therefore have to wait another week before getting any Zyrtec D, if I need it?

Maybe, but most likely not. That's really not the point though, is it? Either she screwed up and didn't need my license for Tylenol, or now some stores are tracking all decongestants, and we're degenerating into even more of a nanny state.

Ugh. My head is pounding, my throat feels like I swallowed glass shards, and, oh great! I just sneezed out “The Thing From Outer Space”. Now I need a shower. And a nap.

Officially Infected

I finally got hold of the new doctors office. They are accepting new patients – yay! But cannot book me an appointment for at least 6 weeks – crap!

It seems only existing patients can be seen immediately for an illness. Which is fair, I was just surprised at the wait time for new patients. In the meantime, they told me to go to the urgent care office at the local grocery store. I told them I equated that with going to the emergency room, so I opted to go to back my existing doctor.

I better get used to it though. A 6 week wait will be nothing compared to the wait times once we have national health care. Also, I won't be allowed to be snotty about which doctor I want to see, since I won't have a choice. I did the HMO thing for several years, and let me tell ya, it ain't fun.

Anyway, I saw the physician's assistant at my old doc's office. I am officially the owner of a nice, fat sinus infection and bronchitis. I started my round of antibiotics last night and I'm already feeling a little more human. Exhausted and sick to my stomach, but less congested.

In other news, at work we've been asked to put together our mid year objectives. Considering I don't know if I'll have a job by the end of the year, I'd say my #1 objective is to remain employed, really.