Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Since I have soooooo much spare time during my commute to (and from) work..... you know, with all the stopping, starting, and stopping again......I've noticed a few strange things.
On the left side of the highway, in the median, there are sticks. Metal sticks. Covered in what appears to be poop.
Not Poohsticks.....that would be cute, and warm, and fuzzy. I-78 is not remotely cute or warm, and definitely not fuzzy.
But it's not really poop. Well, probably not. Maybe. Anyway, that would be really weird, even for Jersey.
However, I've been trying to determine the origin of these sticks, and why they are covered in a substance resembling poop.
Upon further examination, during a particularly nasty traffic jam, I realized these might be metal markers that originally had reflectors on them. A long time ago. Like, maybe in the dark ages. Or 1970.
Now they're all snapped in half, probably due to all the stupid driving going on. Add to that, all the road debris flying around, ready to impale itself on a sharp metal stick: the oil, gasoline, random car parts, body parts, plastic, garbage, blood, and quite possibly, poop.
There you have it.....poopsticks.
As you can see, I've managed to lose what's left of my mind. Four hours of NJ traffic, daily, will do that to you.
Here's a few more fun facts I've learned during my six months of hell:
- It rains rocks. For no apparent reason. Rocks. NOT kicked up from a truck, but falling from the heavens. Like manna. Or bird crap.
- Speaking of rain, it brings out the mentally deficient. Forget snow. Rain turns the PA/NJ commuter into a Tokyo Drifter.
- Under no circumstances should you listen to Motley Crue's Kickstart My Heart while driving. Before you know it, you're buzzing along at 95 mph, inviting a traffic stop and a body cavity search.