Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Poopsticks


Since I have soooooo much spare time during my commute to (and from) work..... you know, with all the stopping, starting, and stopping again......I've noticed a few strange things.

On the left side of the highway, in the median, there are sticks. Metal sticks. Covered in what appears to be poop.

Poopsticks.

Not Poohsticks.....that would be cute, and warm, and fuzzy. I-78 is not remotely cute or warm, and definitely not fuzzy.

But it's not really poop. Well, probably not. Maybe. Anyway, that would be really weird, even for Jersey.

However, I've been trying to determine the origin of these sticks, and why they are covered in a substance resembling poop.

Upon further examination, during a particularly nasty traffic jam, I realized these might be metal markers that originally had reflectors on them. A long time ago. Like, maybe in the dark ages. Or 1970.

Now they're all snapped in half, probably due to all the stupid driving going on. Add to that, all the road debris flying around, ready to impale itself on a sharp metal stick: the oil, gasoline, random car parts, body parts, plastic, garbage, blood, and quite possibly, poop.

There you have it.....poopsticks.

As you can see, I've managed to lose what's left of my mind. Four hours of NJ traffic, daily, will do that to you.

Here's a few more fun facts I've learned during my six months of hell:

- It rains rocks. For no apparent reason. Rocks. NOT kicked up from a truck, but falling from the heavens. Like manna. Or bird crap.

- Speaking of rain, it brings out the mentally deficient. Forget snow. Rain turns the PA/NJ commuter into a Tokyo Drifter.

- Under no circumstances should you listen to Motley Crue's Kickstart My Heart while driving. Before you know it, you're buzzing along at 95 mph, inviting a traffic stop and a body cavity search.

8 comments:

Spokey said...

So, why you always raggin' on jersey? You know you guys have some pretty weird stuff.

Like you sell fireworks only to out-of-staters.

At least Jersey has real liquor stores. And they are open during real booze buying hours.

4 hours? Is the toll booth that bad during commuter time, 'cause I can round trip out to Capt Bob's in Reading in less time than that. And the worst traffic I hit on 78 in either the toll booth or the Allentown area (78)

I'll admit that I don't do much commuting during rush hour though since I gave up gainful employment (hopefully soon any employment). So really the real impediment to getting to work is usually the cat being in the way.

I've never noticed poop sticks but will take a look. But consider yourself lucky. 78 has been great. Try backed up for 1/2 hour to 45 to get across 22 in easton and then stop and go most of the way until you hit 476. And then finally to brave the horse and buggies going down 501 to Lancaster. 'Taint seen no horse and buggies on 78 yet.


AND FINALLY! You got Specter! A bigger joke than Lautenberg and Menendez combined.

Jen said...

Pennsylvania sucks, no doubt about it. If I had my choice, I live somewhere warm where I didn't have to commute. I don't actually mind Jersey, just the traffic mostly. I think I'm still recovering from working at home for so many years.

I always get stuck around Clinton and Whitehouse, no matter what time I leave. Rt 33 in PA is a mess these days too. It's construction season, so it takes forever. Thankfully, the toll booths are opening again today. Yay!

And I agree. Specter's an idiot. The guy was never a Republican, really. Unfortunately, PA is so heavily Democrat, we'll just end up electing more liberals. Oddly, I haven't even seen many commercials for Republican candidates. Sad.

John said...

Wyoming's got almost everything you're looking for, except the warmth thing. We got 5 inches of snow YESTERDAY. Should be gone by noon, though.

Commute? You can get from anywhere in town to anywhere else in town in 10-15 minutes. And if you have to commute to say, Fort Collins, you get on 25 and go 75-80 in blissful serenity.

Traffic? There are only a half million people in the WHOLE DAMN STATE. Traffic? What's traffic?

Liberals? This is WYOMING, man! Home of Dick Cheney. They even named the federal building in Casper after him. Sure we have a Democrat for governor, but he's about as liberal as a Tea Party convention.

Jen said...

Wyoming sounds like my kinda place - except for the snow part. You gotta be kidding me! FIVE inches of snow! My God I don't know what I'd do if I woke up to that...in May!

I really hope that melts quickly.

Spokey said...

33 is a problem? The piece from 22 to 78 has only been open a few years. Got to be less than 10. How could that be a problem?

I have heard that they are going to put those high speed sleezy pass lanes in at the bridge. That might help.

Jen said...

Yeah, that piece of 22 is new. I've got to go about 15 miles on the old section north of 22. It's ripped up for a few miles. I think opening the toll lanes again will help a lot : )

Jen said...

Sorry, meant to say " that piece below 22 is new". I need my darn granny glasses to type on this blackberry. Getting old sucks!

Spokey said...

That's why I am using a Droid. Great screen. I knew what you meant. And progressive lens are the way to go.