Tuesday, September 4, 2012

A Letter To My Local Grocery Store

My patience is slowing eroding, and has been for the better part of two years.

When I see the carnage in the produce section, I wonder if I just missed a flash mob.

I go in search of some basics: bacon, bread, kitty litter or dog biscuits, only to find empty shelves and tumbleweeds.

Last week I had to fight a 500 lb woman for the last jar of garlic.

I get it... in this economy, budgets are tighter and restocking isn't happening as often as it used to. But why is it like this every time I visit?

In recent years, we've had a problem with the growing season, so produce kinda sucked for a while. Other stores seem to have recovered since then. So why are your tomatoes still fuzzy?

One of the reasons I shop at your store is the meat section. No one can compare. However lately, every time I purchase what appears to be a perfectly lovely bit of beef, it's actually a thin layer of meat residing atop a chunk of fat and gristle. Normally I'd chalk it up to someone in the butchery department having a bad day, but it's happened too many times now. I'm starting to think you just don't love us anymore.


This week was the last straw. It was the second time I accidentally purchased pre-marinated, shrink wrapped chicken THIGHS because they were mixed in with the chicken BREASTS. The packages are nearly identical, and yes, it does say thighs/breasts on the package, however this is almost impossible to see if you have 40+ year old eyeballs.

I wouldn't care, but your thighs are nothing but a lump of snoodles: tendons, veins and fat held together with a gumwad-sized ball of actual meat.

Want to know the best part? I wasn't planning to get the pre-marinated chicken. I only bought them because there were no packages of normal, plain chicken. Nothing. NADA.

The whole reason I drive an extra 20 minutes to go to your store is because I want quality items, and you really do have the best prices. You used to have the best customer service too.

But I haven't seen much of that lately.

Why do the stock boys ram their hand carts into my back crack? Or how about the passive-aggressive check out clerk who puts the squishy items on the bottom?

Some would say I just need to lower my standards a bit.

Seriously though. If we all just keep lowering our standards, stop demanding excellence and hard work, what state would our country be in?

Oh, wait.


Spokey said...

I've taken to examining pretty much everything I buy for the expiration date. I have to put back about 25% of the stuff.

A couple weeks ago I decided I wanted to try Activa (I had seen it written up in I think the Mayo Clinic Newsletter). Bought a pack, got home. It's out of date by about a week. Ate it anyway and I lived.

Two days ago I try for it again (same Cherry flavor). I pawed through all 12 or so packs and every one was out of date. Ranged from about 1 1/2 weeks to over a month. Asked the guy stocking if they had any in the back and of course they didn't.

And their bananas! I've taken to splitting the bunch like I used to laugh at when I saw granny doing that. But I'll end up with 3 or 4 completely green ones and if they remain edible at day 4 I count my blessings.

Have you noticed that almost nothing is on sale anymore? There are certain things like Quaker Instant Oatmeal that I used to buy say 3 at a time on sale and be able to wait until the next sale to restock. No more. Most things I buy are on sale so infrequently I buy 1 at a time as needed until the sale finally comes around.

JenB said...

I cannot tell you how many times I've found outdated food at grocery stores lately. Even out local "high end" one can't get its act together. I would rather clean the bathroom than go grocery shopping. Ugh.