Tuesday, September 4, 2012

A Letter To My Local Grocery Store


My patience is slowing eroding, and has been for the better part of two years.

When I see the carnage in the produce section, I wonder if I just missed a flash mob.

I go in search of some basics: bacon, bread, kitty litter or dog biscuits, only to find empty shelves and tumbleweeds.

Last week I had to fight a 500 lb woman for the last jar of garlic.

I get it... in this economy, budgets are tighter and restocking isn't happening as often as it used to. But why is it like this every time I visit?

In recent years, we've had a problem with the growing season, so produce kinda sucked for a while. Other stores seem to have recovered since then. So why are your tomatoes still fuzzy?

One of the reasons I shop at your store is the meat section. No one can compare. However lately, every time I purchase what appears to be a perfectly lovely bit of beef, it's actually a thin layer of meat residing atop a chunk of fat and gristle. Normally I'd chalk it up to someone in the butchery department having a bad day, but it's happened too many times now. I'm starting to think you just don't love us anymore.

*Sniff*

This week was the last straw. It was the second time I accidentally purchased pre-marinated, shrink wrapped chicken THIGHS because they were mixed in with the chicken BREASTS. The packages are nearly identical, and yes, it does say thighs/breasts on the package, however this is almost impossible to see if you have 40+ year old eyeballs.

I wouldn't care, but your thighs are nothing but a lump of snoodles: tendons, veins and fat held together with a gumwad-sized ball of actual meat.

Want to know the best part? I wasn't planning to get the pre-marinated chicken. I only bought them because there were no packages of normal, plain chicken. Nothing. NADA.

The whole reason I drive an extra 20 minutes to go to your store is because I want quality items, and you really do have the best prices. You used to have the best customer service too.

But I haven't seen much of that lately.

Why do the stock boys ram their hand carts into my back crack? Or how about the passive-aggressive check out clerk who puts the squishy items on the bottom?

Some would say I just need to lower my standards a bit.

Seriously though. If we all just keep lowering our standards, stop demanding excellence and hard work, what state would our country be in?

Oh, wait.





2 comments:

Spokey said...

I've taken to examining pretty much everything I buy for the expiration date. I have to put back about 25% of the stuff.

A couple weeks ago I decided I wanted to try Activa (I had seen it written up in I think the Mayo Clinic Newsletter). Bought a pack, got home. It's out of date by about a week. Ate it anyway and I lived.

Two days ago I try for it again (same Cherry flavor). I pawed through all 12 or so packs and every one was out of date. Ranged from about 1 1/2 weeks to over a month. Asked the guy stocking if they had any in the back and of course they didn't.

And their bananas! I've taken to splitting the bunch like I used to laugh at when I saw granny doing that. But I'll end up with 3 or 4 completely green ones and if they remain edible at day 4 I count my blessings.

Have you noticed that almost nothing is on sale anymore? There are certain things like Quaker Instant Oatmeal that I used to buy say 3 at a time on sale and be able to wait until the next sale to restock. No more. Most things I buy are on sale so infrequently I buy 1 at a time as needed until the sale finally comes around.

JenB said...

I cannot tell you how many times I've found outdated food at grocery stores lately. Even out local "high end" one can't get its act together. I would rather clean the bathroom than go grocery shopping. Ugh.